Zombie poem

From Drop Box

wrote this for a do now in class :D

Also YAY HALLOWEEN POEM!

Sky's as dark as bloodshot eyes

as the mindless roam the streets

City's bleed death, for man is in defeat

we hear and listen for help to come

but what actually happens is the parade of the dumb

Eye sockets through and through

Never forget, the zombies are after you

The Germ: The seat of power

From Drop Box

"Above is drawn a diagram of a typical seed with two cotyledons. The cotyledons are specialized rudimentary leaves containing a supply of nourishment sufficient for the initial stage of the development of the germ.

The Germ is the real thing; the seat of identity. Within its delicate mechanism lies the will to power: the function which is to seek and eventually to find its full expression in form.

The seat of power and the will to live constitute the simple working idea upon which all that follows is based -- as to efflorescence.

A System of architectural Ornament According with a philosophy of Mans Powers."

Louis Sullivan

Written by an Architect that shaped our world, he too understands the process of maturity.

how are world is shaped

wrote this in English class, got bored.


Lovers cry
Mothers die
Children born
lovers scorn
Repent emancipation
Repeat this proclamation
Unstable with thine eyes
Forever are the lies
Clouds dissipating
People listen, waiting
Irony like thunder
Hits crowds and plunder
Social security bound
Name tags found
A leader unbelievably perceived
People uniquely deceived
Sky's turn shades of gray
Buildings start to sway
People looking up toward their leader.
Giant screens through cities bleed with capitalism. As socialism rivals, the entire country stays at a stand still. Unmoving, unbreatheing and still unstoppable.

Don't know

It feels like somethings is missing from my life right now. I don't quite no what it is but its been bothering me for about 2 weeks. When i look at things according to my future i see the picture as a whole where 3 years from now I'm at the college of my dreams. Going back when i look toward the next 3 years of my life, i'll still be in Washington working on my semester hours to get into that college. when i look at everything I'm doing currently, it feels like something is missing. I have an idea of what but it just seems to soon.

wishing never wishes.

From Drop Box

I don't really have anything inspirational to say but I do want to post something at least once in the month of October. I've been pretty melodramatic lately but it's all in good health. I've been able to write some pretty neat stuff while experiencing a lot of pain. Having reread everything I've done always cheers me up because I am able to learn more about myself. Lately I've been playing a lot of guitar, not just because of guitar class but because I want to learn how to sing and play at the same time. I've been pretty good so far, working with how to sing and what not. It's pretty challenging but I have found a voice that nobody would believe is my own. It sounds pretty nice but it's hard to sing like that after awhile so I go back to doing a normal tone. Lifes been good to me so far, learning new things and figuring out what I want to accomplish is an every day goal of mine. Just yesterday I was reminded why I wanted to be a chiropractor. It's amazing how fast we forget things and how slow we are to remember them.

Just the other day I watched a home movie of myself at the age of three tearing open presents on Christmas day. Watching this video of me and my three sisters made my eyes water. To realize how young I had once been and how old I have become made me think of how much we miss during our childhoods. While watching the videos I was able to catch something I hadn't seen in about 8 years. I was able to spot my fathers happiness for the first time in almost 8 years in an old home video. My father has pretty much descended in happiness, while the black mold of depression creeps through him, I grow older. I haven't seen my dad happy in such a long time, I burst into tears the minute I saw my dads face on the screen. I miss that, my dads smile and his attitude. Ever since I left it's like he's given up all hope to ever amount to anything. Which is why I can't believe how he could have ever ended up like this. Watching myself on this video being the age of three made me imagine my dad at that age, how happy he must have been. To compare him from that age to the age he is now would be impossible. It's hard to imagine that a once smiling and fun filled happy child is now a father of one and never calls. Not to say he's lazy, he took care of me until I was about fourteen and then I went away. Though, the calling is true, I'd be better off wishing pigs could fly.

I love you man

From Drop Box

Life happens faster than I could ever imagine. I still remember the times when I would play with legos and spend the night at friends houses just so we could have the roughest pillow fights you've ever seen in your life. I was reminded of how good I had it before I actually moved. I had close friends and in lived in a small town, I knew everyone and everyone knew me. It's just how it was, happy times. I remember playing with my little action figures with my father during Christmas morning when I was 5. I remember the way he tought me how to make paper air planes. I remember the cruddy apartments we lived in before we actually moved to that small town I spoke of. When I was little, I was an out doorsy kid, I went to the river almost every day and had a blast. I skated, biked, walked and went everywhere. I had a meal every night waiting for me and my dad had a good stable job. I always got what I really wanted and when I didn't it was no sweat because I was happy with what I had. Sitting through detention was the slowest thing I've ever been through and now that I'm older I kind of wish I would have spent some more time enjoying what I once had.

The past couple of weeks have gone by so quickly that this is the first day I've actually sat and thought a lot of things through. I thought about what I've been through, the connections I've made and the friends that I've had. I had a very happy childhood, I didn't even notice how much I would miss it. My friend Levi is my best friend, we use to do everything together, then I left. I left him because I was afraid of what would become of me if I had stayed. I left him with all those fake and hollow people he called friends. When I left I think a part of him left too. After I was gone he just went out of control and then he really went out of my life. For about 2 years I didn't see my best friend, it made me adjust to the friends I was acquiring through high school but I never forgot him. I sent him some letters and I talked to him on the phone. I said hollow friends before because I was the only one who cared enough to contact him while he was in a boys home. Truthfully I was the only one his parents ever trusted. Me and Levi, were true brothers and I miss that.

Missing someone isn't easy or hard, it just feels like a piece of you is missing and every time you think about it you get a little sad. My best friend came back finally last year. Within that year though he did great things. He got out and did sports, got good grades and found a musical soulfull side of him that I never knew existed. We connected in new ways and we're still close, but we still never see each other, or call. Now he is in the same drug slump he was before he went to the boys home. I don't want to be his parents and yell at him for what he's doing, I also don't want to tell him what to do, but so far what I have told him is that I love him and that I don't agree with the decisions that he's made. I told him I was once proud of him, but now were drifting apart because he can't control his urges to be on top of any outcome, he's beginning to lose his head. I'm always there for him no matter what through anything, I've been there.

He almost died last week. For me to hear that scares the hell out of me, it stresses me to the core. I can't imagine life without him, he's my exact opposite yin and yang but we have so much in common at the same time. It sucks because there's nothing I can do besides be his friend and support him. I can give him advice that he will gradually listen too, but it's hard when you live this far away. I'm just afraid that I could actually lose my best friend. If I ever did it would surely effect me greater than any loss I have ever had before. I'd lose a part of me, half my memories are his and his are mine, they could be lost. The stories I tell have two sides and if you laughed at one, you've got to hear the other. Anyway my best friend has dropped out of high school and is now in the search for a job, a job in which I hope he finds. I've given him advice since we last spoke but I know it will falter under the pressure of the passers by who willingly share the drug. I miss my best friend man, I want the old days back where fixing bikes, skateboards and wrestling each other to the ground while his dad walks in and stares at us until we stop, when we do he then makes a very classic remark, “ dumb asses”.

Levi, I love you man.

it could be a lot worse.

From Drop Box

never realized it before but now i think i'm okay. between a new outlook and figuring out what to do I've realized that confidence is something you need to succeed. I went skating today and couldn't ollie off this 3 foot hill. I don't know why but i was just scared to land it. I brushed off my shoulders after about the 14th time trying i decided to go the opposite way, so i ollied up it instead. It was pretty fun but i realized i do a lot better when looking up and ahead rather than down and away.

Giving up...

From levi and I roadtrip pics

why...

Why you would bother to move forward if you knew you were going to move double the space back?

I don't get why you lied to yourself man.

I don't why you have to interrupt the system.

All you had to do was glide through and you'd be okay.

Instead you went from top to bottom a second time.

I was proud of you man, happy that you were finally on my level.

Then when you realized you had control you had to lose it all for the same stupid reason.

You just could keep your mouth shut, I'm no one to judge but man your like my favorite book.

I know you inside and out, from one argument to the next you could never agree.

I know for a fact that you hate the choices you make.

So why do you fake it to be with them?

You so called friends...

They were just fine when you didn't do shit.

They didn't judge you, In fact they worshiped you for crying out loud.

They hung out with you because they thought you were a great person, not because you had the constant love for drugs that they had.

They just wanted to be friends but they took it to the next level.

You agreed to put yourself below the bar man.

The first drink the first sip the first dip and you came out high on life.

What for? To live on your own and become miserable?

I don't get it man, your my best friend yet you don't call me for anything.

Not even to say hello, you don't talk to me unless you want something from me.

I'm always there though, no matter what.

I listen to what your saying and I hear your thoughts loud and clear.

So why the fuck do you want so badly to get away from here?

Specially this way, why did you have to chose this way?

You think your going to make it big?

I set you up with a radio station man, you never called me.

They were going to let you play for them man.

Instead I never heard another word.

If music is your passion like poetry is mine then you shall succeed.

But if you keep living like this you will become a deadbeat fool.

At the age of twenty-five you will become lost and hopeless and for what?

I was proud of you man, but you left the lead role to another part.

Instead you become guard one and I lead the part.

We were suppose to graduate this year man instead I can't share that with you.

Because of this I can say I've done more than you, I've earned more respect than you and now I'm smarter than you.

For you have no self control in that brain of yours.

Your a follow man, I wish you could follow me.

You don't belong with the people you hang with your better than that man.

I don't understand how you don't understand that it's all who you hang with that makes you, you.

If you hang with the right crowd you will become more like them, no matter what.

Drop outs, I don't understand you didn't even call.

I don't understand what the fuck made you drop the ball?

Was it that retarded aggression toward your parents oppression?

Or do you really think you can make your own home in this life alone?

Seriously in a repossession you think of hopping on trains and living the good life of being a bum.

You wish to eat creamed corn out of a can rather than live up to be a man.

In all truths, I was proud of you man but you let me down.

Your no better than you were before you left, your the same lost soul I wish to protect.

But I can't because we don't see eye to eye.

I understand you and you understand me but you don't understand yourself or the world that's fit to come.

Yeah, you can work for the rest of your life if you want to but I plan on being in retirement.

You'll get no where on drugs and if your lucky your family will take you back.

Just remember man I love you but you gotta pick up the slack.

You say you act like a man yet you can't stand being told what to do.

You say you have respect but what I see is nothing to be proud of.

You had us all going for awhile, until this.

I wish good luck and I will never say goodbye because your my best friend the least you could do is lie.

back to square one.

From Drop Box

My life looks so easy compared to those around me. So why does it seem like it's so hard.

I Wake up every day10 to 6 clocks fast.

I lean up, hit the snooze to make my night last.

I get up finally and debate upon breakfast before a shower.

I usually win.

By the time I get to class my life seems a little dumb down.

My mind seems a little bit slower than the day before it.

I listen to peoples problems and don't care about my own.

A hypocrite I have become.

Why? Because wanting to be something isn't enough .

I want to be a great person, one who influences people to do better.

Instead I yell with overbearing power while no one listens except me.

I can scream I can shout but nobody cares about seniority.

No respect because the words I speak are as common as flies.

Everybody's heard, it's the same thing over and over.

For me to scream at an individual for what I'm doing is disgusting.

Despicable, I am for being the hypocrite.

Disgusted at the way I try to prove myself.

I figure I should just stop, I don't know what drives me anymore.

By the time I get home I'm comforted by people who could care less and probably do.

No support backing me since I was 9.

I come home to an empty house filled with people.

Talk of nothingness and acts of shrewd justice..

It's like living alone knowing the life you have outside your home is the only life you enjoy.

No relaxation, no free time and when there is some I'm always doing something else.

Moving away wouldn't make much of a difference besides the fact that if I go down alone I'd have debt to pay.

Always negative, the principals my family has bestowed upon me.

Laziness, they never set good examples, I had to learn from spending the night friends.

I had to learn a lot and for what? To feel like this?

It's not right.

Nobody's right but anythings better than this.

I'm going to move away from here and not care what's behind me.

I'm going to be long gone so I can never speak to any of them.

So that they can never give my kids the negative thoughts they once gave me.

If they even live that long.

The laziness, death is a just outcome of this.

For if you don't care about yourself, how can you care about others.

Which is why, they don't care about me.

I'm alone when im at home, it's the most depressing place to me.

I wish I could be dedicated to something, I wish I could be a better person.

I wish I was never raised like this.

I see the smiles on peoples faces at school.

It brightens up my day.

To go back home, will always be the death of me as long as I pick up after these people.

I can no longer hide from my depression.

I know longer enjoy anything I use too, I do things because I'm told.

I can't delve into anything I use to enjoy.

I'm so sick of what I use to love to do and what I had a passion for.

It's like my spirit is gone.

In love, with love.

From Drop Box

It doesn't matter how strong you are.

How fast you become, or how far you've gone.

When your over something, you know your over it.

I'm not.

It's hard to say it, but I'm not.

When I look at her I still have the smallest of feelings coursing through my veins.

When we talk, I'm disgusted though as I've realized what she really is.

Something inside me that I want to just go away, wont.

I want it gone, I want no more of this weak feeling I have.

I never realized when I said, “she will always have a place in my heart”. That I really meant it.

When I see her or even think of her, the emotions that shroud me become unstable.

I can't help but have the tiniest part of me wonder what could have been.

Yes, I think about it some times, but it's truly over and I'm grateful.

I'm glad I'm no longer there in that position anymore.

I'm happy.

I don't miss her, I just miss what we had.

It's like bacon, everybody loves bacon, but why?

It's because of the meat to fat ratio.

Everyone loves bacon in the fact that well, they don't.

They love it because they love the thought of it.

The perfect meat to fat ratio, you think of it.

Love, it's a lot like bacon.

When it's over cooked, it's not so great.

But cooked perfectly, well, it's amazing.

Just depends on the cut.

Anyway what I mean is that I'm in love with the thought of being in love.

I want that again, not from the people in passed relationships but in someone else.

I want to find it again.

I miss that feeling.

Being in love with the thought of being in love sounds kind of well, “gay”.

I don't really care though, It's not my fault I feel like I'm the only guy on this planet who's ever actually wanted something to last.

What I've learned though, is that things don't last.

Nothing lasts forever.

It's sad but we all know it.

I just want to be there for some one who means a lot to me as much as I can.

It's the only way I can feel like I'm appreciated.

Yeah, when I help people I help my self esteem.

It's what makes the world go round, it's what makes my world go round.

I'm not over it yet.

I am in the way that if I was ever asked again I would say absolutely not.

It's just, it bothers me how much it still effects me.

It shouldn't effect me at all, but it does.

At least I'm not bat shit crazy, that's always a good thing.

I've learned though that it isn't wrong to pursue something you want to do.

Hell if I want it, I'll get it no matter the cost and if I don't, oh well, I can move on.