yup

Great! there's nothing like a push back down to the bottom after I've already climbed to the top...

Friday The 13th

From Drop Box

Ironically this is now my favorite day of any month, but only if it's on a Friday. I took the drive test and got an 88 on it, which is passing. Then after that I went in to RiteAid for an Interview and NAILED IT, I got the job! Today has been awesome! Maybe not the best day i've ever had ever, but pretty damn close to it :D Now I'm off to go to a huge over the night car show with BREAKFAST YUM!!!

Peace! and I love you all for the constant Inspiration and care :D

PASSED

I passed with an 88 YEAH!

Doing good

I got called by RiteAid today. I took a phone test and now I have an interview with them at 4 O'clock pm. Before this though, I'm taking my drive test, WISH ME LUCK :D!!

My dads Bday

It was my dads birthday today, I don't even know how old he is. I wish one day to give my dad everything he wants, but until them all i can do is wish him happy birthday. So, Happy Birthday dad I love you :D.

Pressure

Again I got something that told me what to do. I got a fortune cookie today that says " Seek out significance of your problem at this time. Try to understand". Nothing like a good fortune cookie. I just, still don't know.

do it.

So I wrote a poem today, not knowing what it said. when I was finished I put it in my bag and didn't read it until later today. I was kind of star struck at what I had said in this poem. I literally answered my own problem without even knowing. It was surprising to say the least but I don't know if can do what the poem told me to do. I just don't know.

So ...

so apparently I've become a profession at digging my self the deepest holes imaginable and falling in them. Just the way it is with everything.

Unsound, mind rotten

From Drop Box

Wrote this Last week in class while ignoring the teacher when she spoke of John Donne the poet.

In my mind I've been skipping class.

Physical sentences whiplash.

The ability to care is as thin as air.

There's no improving, my life is a nightmare.

I see my future very clearly.

I see what my family means to me so dearly.

Or, I don't

This shadow haunts my being.

It controls whatever I'm seeing.

I do not know why i have been given a cloud.

Ever since it's rained many days along with thunder, Loud.

My mind seeks forgiveness and well being.

but it's under the control of a shadow, always fleeing.

Thus the curse of light.

I may never know light again if this cloud hangs forever.

I may never shake it, for I am not that clever.

I wish to do well and i wish i hadn't lied.

For right now I fear the inside of me has died.

unrelenting hold, wont you let go?

Things would be so much easier if you didn't hang so low.

It's in my eyes they fill with darkness.

I have lost my soul.

It is something it stole.

I have lost my way.

I do not know the meaning of enjoying a day.

I have forgotten my mind.

I have lost it and soon may never find.

I need help, obviously.

With no path means no obligation.

So i will sit until i rise to seek investigation.

I will wait to be saved.

But it will be too late if my path is already paved.

Life, why are you so senseless.

You make me and everyone else Defenseless.

I Need Motivation.

Should or Shant that is the Question

From Drop Box

Dear friends who'm greet me with great respect.

Will you think less of me if i recollect?

How about if I never tell?

How then, will you know I fell?

In what way is my choice wrong?

Is it because it's almost dawn?

For it to be too late or too early,

I must know if you think Surely.

The path already taken.

Is there a way or am I mistaken?

Can I breathe smoke so clear?

Can I not live in fear?

In what way shall I commence the destruction,

and how with this deduction?

Will I become like the ones you see?

No, no, I cannot break the foundation of me.

My will is too sound.

In a way I have found.

Maybe, maybe, just a way,

to stay stable long enough to pay.

oh what are my choices with relaxation?

It's like every part of me, pressed with taxation.

Shall I not fear of what others think?

Or Shall I care about everything with every blink?

Stress reliever, pain reducer.

Sounds a bit like you sir.

May I have my mind, no?

oh? Is it my head you stole?

No? Is it my heart in whole?

woh. It is infact my will.

Will without motivation and motivation without will.

I want it back.

I wish to ask nicely

But that would be unwise of me.

Seeing as that you are a god, a mad hatter.

You will never give back what you've taken through the means of others.

Nor will you reply to the beliefs of mothers.

Hear them cry as you will, for you are as cynical as we.

Except you may never know the pain of me.

I am different and do what I believe.

So when I make decisions, instead of looking up.

I look through what you foolishly gave us.

I look through the mind you've stolen and the heart you've crushed along through my eyes you've blinded to veer us so that you may jeer us as we walk foolishly through a dark room with a door that has no knob. You disgrace us with the thought of personality and the mention of spirituality, but those who believe do not deal with the situations I have and that you've bestowed.

Should I or Shant?

That is the question.