between my self and I

From Starred Photos

Between my thoughts and me

And this crazed amount of insanity

I lose my mind in nothingness

Through pain and through suffering

I’ve been cut deep

Through my veins and this scared face I weep

Like a rocket my mind soars through the sky

Never hitting its objective always passing right by

But somehow it manages to stop and explode

With shrapnel flying everywhere I begin to think silently

For every time I sit alone, my brain weeps violently

Through dark shadows and through the blinds, the light shines

But it’s never enough because the dark shadows are mine

The shadows take over as the rocket explodes

Acting like shrapnel it cuts deep in every direction

Giving my brain the sickest of infections

I weep, I cry, I tear my eyes out from the inside

Disease spreads through me I can’t stop it

It travels through my veins and grabs on to these reigns and it stays there

Like a mental patient that sees’s only people he can see

Those people taunt him

It’s not his fault he’s like me, but scientists want him

They study his reaction as he’s being treated like dirt from both worlds

He gets one meal and prays every day

He wishes he was out of there and so do his thoughts

Suicide runs rampant something the scientists caught

So they administered a drug so he can never live again

Hooked up like a vegetable he’s the perfect specimen

But what these scientists don’t get is that perfection brings despair

For they are the ones locked in and watching what’s out there

With this drug they tell the mans mind how to think and how to act

They act as if they know what he’s thinking as he sits there twitching and blinking

But what they knew the whole time, is how to make the voices stop

Like watching a puzzle fix itself they put their hands out

They fixed this man with concoctions of medication while in rehabilitation,

Weeks later after being freed and living his own life again

He broke down and couldn’t handle it and from here he became their perfect specimen

They studied and watched how he acted

They fixed others problems through his mind

All the while this man had become blind

From the fallout of a bomb that hits my cerebral cortex

To the shrapnel that hits my mind

I’ve started to think again on how this relates to me

A dark sad soul walks this earth, with happiness and despair

Every step he takes he breathes a breath of fresh air

The soul begins to lighten up

But only because time passes

I’ve promised myself I’ll never give up

Because I’ve got something to prove to the masses

That one man can’t save the world

And only together we can survive

Like reading a children’s book we learn something simple

Through my dark thoughts every time I sit still

To the end of these poems

I feel amazed at how much I can create

Amazed at how much I’ve learned

And between my thoughts and me

Is a field of love and compassion for the people closest to me

I see my future, I reflect on my passed

I am a product of my generation

And thanks to American society

I believe in nothingness

To this day I feel greatly depressed without reason

Question after question, no answer

Different moods, different days

Different acts, different plays

We each have a roll and were all great actors

But when life’s stops and your off the stage

Remember, that my mind explodes into nothing you could ever imagine