Weary, I have fallen many times but never have I not been able to get up. It is almost my birthday, yet I choose to let it pass as if it does not concern me. I am vulnerable and confused, much like anyone else my age. I jump to so many decisions; I just don’t know what I should do with my life. There are so many choices, so much to do.
I have fallen into a rut of luxury. I wish to get out but comfort, like a snake luring eve, i am tricked. To be honest, I wish to travel the world, have an adventure of my own. Too many times have I played many games and read many books, I want to not only feel adventure but live it. Too much have I sat in this chair of defeat and luxury. It has made me weak for the world. For I am afraid of thought, afraid of learning and afraid of losing what I already know.
I have contemplated much suicide but it does not do my soul justice. I do not want to die in ignorance of this world. I do not want to see the end, for this should bring my current journey to a close. Finding myself is my destiny. I have already found how to love, how to indulge and how to hate. For these are what guilty pleasures are made of. This paper is running out of lines but I will not stop until my conclusion has arrived. I have indulged in the pleasures of love and hate with selfishness in mind.
I am young, “You stand while we sit, you still have the energy”. My coach would say. So I stood, I stood proud, strong and with others in mind. But since then I have failed to stand up. Too often have I been blessed with comfort, I want to stand. I want to feel my legs again I want to brace my arms as I’m flying through the air. I just wish to feel alive again, I’ve been dead for so long. My selfishness has overwhelmed me. I am insensitive to those who choose paths that are not like my own. I get angry when confronted with a challenge and worst of all, I refuse to change.
Life as I sit back on it doesn’t stop. It flows until it reaches the ocean. For me to reach the ocean I must unblock this path of thorns and try to escape the evils of society. Though I must use society to my advantages, only then can I reach the ocean. But I have said that too much and now is the time to choose which sewer will lead me to enlightenment. I am afraid, deathly afraid of what path I should take because in this analogy I’d rather not become societies drinking water, cornered into a 9 to 5 existence.
All in all, I wish to find what path I’m looking for. To do so I must stand and this time my friends cannot help me, because I need to learn what it’s like on my own again. In my life I have truly only chosen one thing, that decision lead me to rise above and become known as a leader. Once you go where nobody knows you, you begin to think back on those choices and the happiness that had occurred. I have not stood in four years, I was lifted so I could see what I strive for. As I’m being dropped, I must learn to fly. I must learn to face death, my fears and I must banish the thought of losing my knowledge. This is just the start, I’ve learned how to fall, so when will I start flying?
