defeat

There is only so much sympathy in the world, after all some times you just need to suck it up and move on. Live your life the way it was intended to be and become a proud member of society. Stop living to receive and become a part of this, Believe.

Man, Honest 4/26

Not in the mood.

Reasons for reason.

The treason bestowed.

The life we owed.

Humble regrets.

Technical fowls.

Modest bets on not so wise owls.

So why pitch this idea to me?

As if its the key.

To lead one on.

I fear to be gone.

Hope lasts, regrets gleaming.

Only myself you see me being.

I cannot change, have not changed.

I will not show and will not go.

So why doth the wind just blow?

How cursed are the marks and scars?

How beloved are our things and cars?

Why must we provide a cushion beneath our psyche?

To convince people that they need these things to " like me "

Unheard of consumerism lasts as far as we will go.

Lost sanctums, indigenous capitalism cities raised, now low.

The eras lost between time.

Only what is left is not mine.

For possession of and mine you will never be.

But only on your own you may claim me.

I must comply for then we'd be each others.

To raise one of us, just like our mothers.

summer thoughts in winter

4/20/10

As simple as the wind

Attributes scathed, riots paved

Laminant cards, sun gleams fresh glare

Color rich, vibrant waves dance against the sky

Blue dye cast, blue sky vast

Winter shuns the warm ones

Light turned to fog, shallow rays, clouds condemning

do frozen, sounds beneath your feet

Pause of deliberation before they meet

step on, fence posts snow shaved high

Breath before you lingers, hands cold

Dull motion and crystallized trees

zapped color, a cold breeze

autumn before this, good bye spring leaves

as simple as the wind

attributes scathed, riots unpaved

lush green fields of blue grass in november

year round the town i lived in was a town to remember

flat tire raised along with bonfire sheraids

The smoke high, sun glistening

you can touch the sky keep listening

oak trees climb the blue

looking over them i've said good bye

Thoughts, contemptuous rampage of beautiful reality

our reality

as simple as the wind

Laminant cards, sun gleams fresh glare.

All i've ever been

i guess the reason i drag my feet so much is because i realized long ago that nobody cares about what i do

which is why i can get away with so much

the only reason i did good last year

was because i was doing it to stick with my friends

and become part of something

and now that im part of it

the motivation is gone

and the will for me to succeed has ceased to exist

i've driven myself into a hole...

i miss this

From Drop Box

who's that?

my good friend rena :D

From Drop Box

Honestly

Dear school

I wish I never knew you. You've brought me so much in my life time, you've given me everything I've desired from you. But today, I no longer wish to be apart of what you really are. The thoughts I've conceived under who you've been and the actions I've taken to dismay you are unforgivable. Don't forgive me, I don't wish to be with you any longer. The pressure you provide and the shades of gray you've become have greatly lessoned my appreciation for what you've given me. The way you are now is no longer what you were then. I no longer feel attached to you, much like most of my time with you, I often thought this behind your back. For many years you've put this unyielding pressure upon me. They say its healthy to exercise your mind, that may be true but it certainly never ever feels that way. The last time we had fun together was over a year ago and I can firmly say, I'm spent. I cannot handle the puns, the hypocrisy, the idiocy, the immature lectures, the talking down too. The feeling of acceptance only goes so far with you. After awhile, you begin to wear on people. Some cannot not handle your pressure and I am beginning to see why. Though to quit has never been what I do best. Although I want to beyond belief. I wish that we could have a break. I want so much to be away, I even think of cheating. As if I could quit you and and begin the relationship I want with my GED. The job I already have and the attitude I bare are enough to get me through more than you know. But you cannot see past this because you are as naive as when we first got together. You assume I have much to learn when in reality I have already learned as much as you have provided. You treat me as if I'm lesser than you to portray how transfixed you are with your self. You act as if I know less than you've already taught and for this I cannot forgive. I have seen the brighter side of you and I have seen the dark as well. But now, I wish to see the sky, for I am done with that umbrella you've been holding over me since we began this relationship. I want to grow passed you, I want to prove you wrong in every way. I hate you now, I hate what you represent and with my own words I will destroy you out of spite. I will show you how it feels to learn what I have learned and to learn again what you've taught me. I will cripple you and move on. I will begin my life anew and I will feel amazement for myself. I wish to be rid of you. I'm Sorry, for this relationship has come to a halt, you can no longer offer what I desire, for my selfish whims are too strong. I yearn for more than you could ever imagine and because of this I have already moved on. Right now I have just been waiting for a good time to stop you in your stride, so I could gently thank you for all you've done. During my thanking I will mention how immature you really are and how common you have become. I'll explain how you have not changed since the day we've met and as the tears stream down your smooth face I will tell you how much I've grown. I will hold your hand no longer, as if being led by a child to my doom. I will tell you to your face as you gasp for those little breaths of air, " I'm sorry but your not what I thought you were".

And I will move on. As you cry out for my soul. I will move on, just like the rest of them. I will be gone and you will have tainted another life with your greedy hands.

honestly and sincerely

Casey L. Jarrell

Pretty pretty

Oh beautiful, sun shines sunlight.

Stars seen, light obscene.

Night cold, our hearts warm.

Oh beautiful.