Wednesday, January 27, 2010

bound with thorns.

The mist, the hue, the rain.
The judge of a sentence.
Forced repentance.
The out line of your character.
Drawn to life scale.
To peal your self from reality.
The rain, sleet, it's hail.
Formed, shapes of mass. Calculated, measured cast.
Your vessel, theatric. The story vast.
Though pages drag on through curious journeys.
Wrinkled and soaked. the book torn.
Lifes travels, narrative lost, thrown away.
The book pleading and begging, screaming.
Tossed from the highest cliff.
Into the deepest river.
It sits now bound and written.
On a rock it waits.
A cellphone, messages from another generation.
Walkie-talkies spoken to, messages received.
The book found years later a man cannot believe.
Though, the pages are empty, ink wiped away.
At the back of the book a picture of whom.
Transition, transition.
A man dies to save his loved ones.
A son gone mad, a mother committed suicide.
A daughter home, raising a boy of three alone.
A fathers wishes turned to hell.
his death for nothing. A boy now 24.
His sister, cancer took.
This boy lives on.
His father an author.
The last book missing, gone.
Alone he finds the satisfaction.
Alone he finds his drive.
Alone he does it all.
Yellow, sands of time wave through the air.
The stars of night blind me as I stare.
Too late to read, closing the book to say.
"I think this is all I can handle for the day".
Walking home I listen to the grass whistle and the wind sing.
I pay close attention to nothing and enjoy my being.
Cold air sweeps the sweat from my pores.
A delightful chill cruses through my veins.
A smile glistens as I close my eyes.
Footsteps my own, rocks beneath my souls.
A slight trip, my eyes open and towards home.
The house, two stories. White as snow.
One light on, the kitchen glows.
My hand reaches for the door, the smell caressing my neck.
The Fire lunging at me, the smoke fills my lungs.
I awake on the floor dieing, crawling.
My eyes blood shot, body in shock.
Smoke creeping under the door.
My fate sealed, I cannot move.
I close my eyes and look at the stars.
I breathe deep to end my suffering.
Tar, build up in my lungs.
The heat wrapping itself around me.
Suffocating, I pass out as if thrown into space.
The building burns to the floor.
The place 'non'-existent.
Hugging my only pillow I weep. It rains, I've no home. Cold, my face wet. City, as forgiving as god yet as terrifying as death.
No home, no eyes, no body. Rest.

Monday, January 25, 2010

one eye calling.

Justification, the cause to meaning means to give definition.
Pixel shaded dust screams passed before me.
The colors ringing loud, " Black and white."
White noise hisses beneath my skull.
The water blue, only my eyes above.
castles raised, clouds falling.
Lead, white, faces drowning.
Heavy rain presses on the soul.
Walking, sluggish mode hints at deprivation.
Windows shallow, hidden stories fold.
Explosions of grey.
Beautiful fields of grass, you run and fall.
A grass hopper at your nose.
A smile, generosity, it hops away.
The clay you've mashed and stoved.
It is the world you bare and hold.
Much like the speaker at your drum.
It molds you to move, physically, mentally.
Distracts you, distracts the insanity.
The feeling of calm and collective.
Self medication and protected.

Pain. Frustrations only cure.
The cuts, the scrapes, the bruises.
To keep sane, we all do this.
For pain to resolve your emotional issue.
Enjoyment means madness but to know what helps is self medication.
Layers of belief rule the morals you behold.
Justification. You are taught how to justify.
After this we recognize on our own.
Some seek, some die, some speak, others lie.
The mind, like a grid, plains never ending.
Plots everywhere, memory access, always pending.

As if someone wants to take the seat out from under me. Never sitting still, can't trust the world. Always ready to stand, too ready to fight.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

No path, no host.

Falling prey to the traps of my mind.
To suborn my life through decline.
Words are easily spoken, actions condemning.
Morals upside down, i think i might go back to what im suppose to be use to.
To use, to use, does not mean abuse.
Life lived, life breathed, pain.
How, now, brown, cow?
To who, you, a few, which knew?
As simple as the chicken pocks rewinding comes backward clocks.
Ridiculous, sulfurace, instantaneous recollection.
Melting floors, robbers run, winners die.
Planes crash, swimmers swim, and people get high.
Wavy, lazy, flammable, Inflammable, Ha!
To fire set my hand, blue flames like dust.
Wishes, wells, water, rust.
The constitutional right to lust.
The choice, not free, to perceive, not me.
No clouds in thine eyes for this smoke makes me see.
How, now, brown, cow, what does this mean to me.
Pathologically redeemed, the stress, it seemed.
Ceiling gone, feeling gone, eyes wide as the doors of heaven.
Golden gates black and wavy eyes stoned.
Body dead, life passed, smile here, frown there.
Cold air breathes between the house, body missing.
Plad days run through hazel rays of blight.
The ruins of what was could only be who is.
Through these eyes, missing the stress free environment.
A laugh now, a smile slapped across the face, " how ignorant ".
Tears fly like F1 Bombers.
People pass under in fear. Nothing happens.
Crows land, crows land.
I'm awake, " Hello, my name is Casey "

Monday, January 11, 2010

My mind.

Medows of thick darkness.
Clouds plague the sea.
Rainstorms fight wind currents unbeknown to me.
Green leafs and summer storms.
Blue sky's yet dust is prominent.
Mirrors reflect, subconscious dominant.
Fear storming the houses of the free.
Killing the used and weak for ransom.
All for a fee a hell bent handsome.
Rain drops off ruble, mud curious.
Faces soaked in blood, doors see through.
A man to his left, " concealment not cover, they can see you"!
Another dead body hits the floor.
What is it that we have to learn to win this war?

Sunday, January 10, 2010

sundays

Childhood in my back seat, the trunk full of lego's
Tool box to my right see, people waving hello's
Sad and sorry it's all i've ever been
eyes blinded, mind reminded full of past memories
Me jumping off bridges hanging with my dad
Driving away eyes full of tears
Brain screaming through thoughts of past years
Choked up not blinking trying to see the road can't stop thinking
How years fly by with hello's and goodbyes
Childhoods gone living life ahead. and to believe i once thought i'd be better off dead.
Stuck in between parallels of walls that go on forever waiting to realize that nothing will come by and pick me up, never.
The years of intolerance are over. I know now what i couldn't believe then.
Wake up, un fuse with the somatization realize reality and all it's realizations.
I'm the only one holding my hand and right now im about to drop you
the cliff too high, the cliff too high.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Synergy, Lost.

Why does it grab my heart so.
This weary pain haunts me.
But I know I'll never let it go.
Losing my hair and my mind
" why does it grab my heart so"
It's there, my energy within me, intertwined.
I've lost myself completely.
" But I know i'll never let it go"
Insane ever so neatly.
At least I know who I am.
" Losing my hair and my mind"
But who knows maybe I'm a scam.
I can't tell if this is me or who I want to be.
" It's there, my energy within me, intertwined"
The difference being me, is myself actually.
Confused and struck by lighting backwards.
" I've lost myself completely"
Hands raised, " Just take it"! said with violent words.
No push, no effort, on the ground crying.
" Insane ever so neatly"
Frustrated, so mad at myself, lying.
A vessel harnessing the power of the sun.
" At least I know who I am"
If I can't find myself then the day for everyone is done.

Found it!

there it is! it's been missing for such a long time!!! how could i ever live with out you motivation, there's just no way :D