To Cathy, Love your guts!

walking by walls of light.

Film reels scroll through mindsets and days delights.

Each story different some films never ending.

Some stay still, others, pictures pending.

Changing, moving delightfully through.

Stopped, beauty entranced my mind.

A soft and Beautiful fulfillment of light purged and intertwined.

a picture of you, Stars above the sky.

eyes melting with joy, but why?

questions that can't be answered, who?

why on earth, the stars paint words, love, you.

down on earth, the films start a fire.

my heart, choked up, the wait, my mind set with desire.

Influential words, my knees cracked to the ground.

Hands steady holding my body up, courage i've found.

Standing again, the fires no longer appear.

only picture of you on each wall my hearts near.

Sitting, waiting, watching the stars as the films roll by.

I will never have to worry because you'll never say goodbye.

what is

What is human philosophy?

What is self control?

What are ethics?

How is our reality perceived?

What is reality?

Without rules reality wouldn't exist.

Without existence there would be peace.

with peace there would be nothing.

With nothing lies emptiness.

With emptiness lies sadness.

Within sadness resides within complex emotions.

Complex emotions are our fabric of reality.

With out it we have no reality.

Reality is defined by what we perceive as real.

We Lie, That is human Philosophy.

how insane?

I remember the dream I had. I had only done about 30 min of sleeping before I had a nightmare. In the dream I remember being in a white room. I don't remember where but i do remember the intensity. I was standing wide eyed and smiling. It started out with me worrying about something, I remember smiling, I looked mad, crazed even. it was like my eye lids were gone, as if I was intensely staring into space. My body was still and all was quiet as i stood. The stress started to come in waves, my body shuttered but stood still. Sweat dripped from the creases of my brain. my body felt heavy with an insane amount of pain. The first voice said something, I couldn't remember what. He spoke as if I were the epitome of dirt. He was joined by others. They were all talking inside my head. I had no control after the others joined. I started to breathe heavy. The group of more than 20 screaming was now anything absurd. I was alone staring off into space. My face was smiling, head tilted, eyes open. I started to laugh in fear with pain. I heard all of their voices in my head. The pain was so intense that i went absolutely insane, laughing. At that point of the dream I was half awake scared out of my mind. My head tilted back in that white space of nothingness as my mouth opened and closed with crazed laughter. That nothingness then became an immediate black. My brain exposed, tears poured from my mind and the sweat from my brain dripped from the sides of my head. Suddenly stricken with real pain and real fear I stopped laughing. A hand came from no where and grabbed my brain. There was no person attached to the arm. It gripped my brain so tight I wanted to scream but couldn't. My mind was now conscious and I was awake, I was rolling back and fourth. The hand was making me. I was conscious and awake, it continued to shake me. The pain was intense, my mind was throbbing. The people screaming from the time it grabbed me. I didn't know what to do, I was awake but felt like I was still being controlled. I went mad in my dream and completely insane. While awake i had to tell myself that nothing existed just to make the voices stop. I realized i was in control after awhile and I sat up. I looked around my room, then at my clock. I had only been asleep for 20 minutes. At first i thought I was insane. Now, i can barely remember.

it is

Attitude displays knowledge and benevolence is the key to true happiness.

Life will, life will

Never come to us.

Life will, life will.

Always rely on lust.

Life will, life will

Kick you when your down

Life is, life is

Every verb and noun.

where does the truth lie as it sleeps sleeps running?

Greatness, where does it come from?

That extra step?

The will?

If you do nothing your whole life, were you living?

What is potential?

why does everybody harness this asset yet butcher it's features?

Depression and thoughts.

The Heart knows what the heart knows.

Grow up, what does this mean?

Maturity, is it the ability of tolerance and the acceptance of being wrong?

Confused about life and it's details.

My guts falling, I'm bleeding entrails.

Snow melting as red as the sky.

Blood pumping, I think I could die.

No organs damaged my heart protected.

Rib cage and chest plate intact, bullet deflected.

A person stands over me, Hypothetically.

He yells, " stand up"! I look up pathetically.

Guts in hand breath wheezing.

Veins blue, my body, freezing.

"Get up"! He yells again, a swift kick in the face.

Doubled over in pain standing at my own pace.

The crunch of snow, sounds beneath my feet.

One leg at a time I stand up, our eyes meet.

Me, slouched to my left my guts in hand.

My fist raised, snow carries across the land.

Still bleeding, red flakes frost away.

My body ruined, I scream, "You'll pay"!

Suffocating on my own blood I step forward and swing.

Right hand, everything I've got, I believe I'm king!

Eyes rolled to the back of my head.

My last swing met with lead.

Body caught, life gone.

A shadow disappears through the nights dawn.

Beat psychologically and killed subconsciously.

Dragged away on an endless journey of forever.

No ends ever met because of this endeavor.

Confused about life and it's details.

My guts falling, dead, bleeding entrails.

PitFall

Dark Clouds and Digital Clocks.

Count down above our heads, weather ever changing.

Life ticks away, each one ranging.

3900 saturdays till 75.

That's how long most are alive.

Dark Clouds and Digital Clocks.

The weather violent, storms of hatred.

Hundreds of people, no reason, hated.

Consciously fake, only giving to get.

Only kind to others to teach others debt.

Despicable, disgusting, and disguising.

Unforgivable, mind rusting, no reason, despising.

Dark Clouds and Digital Clocks.

The mind tainted with selfish views.

Only about your self all others, used.

Your eyes closed unwilling to see.

How forgive and forget is so easy.

Your the stick in our spokes, the knife in our backs.

Any time we show happiness your entity attacks.

A smile turned straight a good laugh gone.

Your attitude shot like a good day, dawn.

Dark Clouds and Digital Clocks.

If you have nothing nice to say than don't say anything at all.

Because life with out you, is it's own pitfall.

1

One day i'll post some poems again, one day. :)

Late :D

I've had some thoughts and poems i'd like to share with you soon but i've been so busy i haven't had the time to post them. I will soon :D

why

why do people have to die. My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer last week, My dad is now going over to north carolina to take care of him. He's going to rent out the house and live down to take care of my grandfather. This will be the first christmas i have without my father and who know's knowing him he probably wont make it to my graduation. Why is life so.

Nobody likes to be alone, specially after a break up but that's when we discover who we really are and what we really want.

Ted Mosby- How I Met Your Mother.

haha heard this on a tv show tonight and made complete sense to me.

The whole world, right now.

Just feeling really uncomfortable right now and out of my normal comfort zone. It feels as if i'm sitting in the most uncomfortable chair but i can't get up. It just doesn't feel right.

people

People, this writing binge has been about people. All kinds of people. All kinds of people. People believe they make the earth spin. That's what people do. all kinds of people. People tolerate people who can't tolerate people. These people are often unalterable. People. People believe they've been created to die and exist in a fantasy land. People, they listen, they don't.

People, they are blind, people that can see.

Both kinds of people aren't people to me.

Existence lies with each breath.

Resistance Relies heavily on death.

People rely on people.

Love, is hard to explain.

When loved there is no pain.

Love can sweep you off your feet.

Or, it can crush you in defeat.

Love breathes through each one of us.

People rely on people.

To fall in in love and hit the ground hard.

Means to have accidentally pulled the right card.

Love can hurt, it's on everybody's mind.

The problem with love is finding the time.

Love, is it possible to be too late?

Or will it always be the extremes of fate?

If one loves someone, can they love them back?

People rely on People.

People cry on People.

People need People.

People love People.

People, are people.

Thank you.

The Weight

The point of a pen, my heart bleeds.

The world stops on words like these.

From where I'm standing everything's still.

My mind frozen and lacking the will.

The snowy haze, cold air against my skin.

How does one know if they're going to win?

Happy then sad then happy but mad.

Mad at the powers one can hold.

Mad at the world for being so cold.

A broken pen bursts upon the canvas.

The snow red, ink gone.

Memories, left behind by others.

Like parents tucking in the covers.

A child with the potential to free the free world.

Killed with a baseball, hurled.

Father speechless and undoubtedly terrified.

Mother bent over her son who'd just died.

The game they won at a loss.

One child at the cost.

The crowds heart silent, watching the killer.

An 8 year old boy who could throw and 88 mile 'r .

How does one know if they're going to win?

The snowy haze, cold air against my skin.

The ink spilled and the mess everywhere.

The passenger killed, faces in despair.

Lives watching, calling for one another.

A son lives but at the cost of his mother.

The memories pieced together.

everybody's peace is an endeavor.

The pen wont stop the guilt.

The blood, already spilt.

Sobriety a joke, the whole worlds high.

A chemical reaction controls your life, they lie.

Media bent on the destruction of your mind.

Chemicals creating and destroying, you will find.

Your life, run by your own decisions.

Your mood controlled by their incisions.

Dopamine running down your spine.

The cause was natural your fine.

The sugar you eat and the caffine you drink.

The worlds addicted, the two you can link.

This worlds corrupt, bent on fear and destruction.

How does one know if they're going to win?

The snowy haze, cold air against my skin.

The universe, our plane.

The ink, our pain

The motivation, secrets from in ourselves.

The instigation, Not Here.