an awesome picture

From Recently Updated

What I see when I come across a picture like this, is true art. True art makes you feel like you could be there, like you could feel the moment in time that it took place. I saw this while rummaging through pics on deviant art and I stopped and stared at it. It made me think a lot about what shows I watch and why I watch them. It made me think of life, death and how much something or someone can mean to somebody. When I look at this it makes me think of so many emotions. It makes me feel the familiarity of what a true story should have. How well emotion can be displayed through a picture is astonishing. That is art.

I've seen it

I've seen both sides now and i finally realize that my well being depends on how i think of them. I realized that i need to stop wishing for what people need to be or i want them to be and just be happy with who they are. When i do this, i'm happy. :D

How the waves quake beneath the ruble that was me.

From My Pictures

I can feel the quake of drama tremble beneath my feet as I inch toward the door.

Everyone looks as I enter and as I look out, most of them scowl and look away.

They whisper with their grins and talk with their eyes.

The minute they open their mouths all they speak are lies

They’ve formed a wall of steel as high as their ego’s, they have judged me.

No longer friends I can pat on the back and say, “You’re doing great”.

They are no longer with me on this journey of confidence and well being.

For now they are concerned with their lives of lies.

They wish to exclude the one who has never done anything wrong.

They want nothing more do to with me, for their respect for me is gone.

As I walk, the room is filled with glaring eyes and smug faces, I watch them in contempt.

I Smile and ignore these faces that glare and stare and have nothing better to do than talk.

I leave the room of desolate aperture as my back faces the façade of a building I once loved.

Now it will never feel the same, as I enter the halls of shallow cursory presented to me by the students.

I guess I’ve over stayed my welcome.

While I leave everybody in the past and continue to focus on my future, they’re still talking.

I’ve woken up to the real world.

It’s full of deceit and lies that gives your stomach butterflies.

They never leave you, that feeling of uncertainty of what you’re living.

That feeling of, “I don’t belong anymore”. Stays…

That feeling is the butterflies that rest like moths caked in the dust of timeworn consciousness.

You realize your home has been burnt down and it’s time to start anew.

I walk this path now as I realize that I can no longer help everybody I meet.

I’ve lost the respect I deserve and it hurts.

It feels as if someone has taken half of my personality, like I can no longer be that part of me.

I am forced to feel like this from the beginning again.

With new faces though and old ones I can unleash my “Amazing” ability to help people.

No matter what the vendetta I am always there to help.

For you cathy!

From Starred Photos

I was at the original Budweiser national park thing and i saw some turtles.

They're in dangered and what not. I took this pic, i waited about 20 minutes for them to move together like that but it was worth it.

i have lots of other pics from Missouri as well, I'll put some up while i write. For the mean time ima post this cause i haven't posted in awhile.

Hahaha!

From Starred Photos

I stumbled upon a great artist while looking on devientart. This just made my day :D

La La Land.

From levi and I roadtrip pics

Wrote this on the way back from EllinsBerg, a couple people were on my mind when i wrote this down. My dad, Cathy, Levi and I, is who i was really thinking about when i wrote this. I thought of it because a true get away to me is being with some one who makes me feel happy.

A Kings get away. Advice from his majesty. Never leaving his throne of nightmares the clouds will keep clashing above his head. takeing care of the ones who hate him is all he see's but, to get away from it all gives the man his courage to care for his people. " Never give up" advice from his majesty. An outlet is needed for everyone to rechard, rethink, and redefine what they call living.

Thank you to: Cathy and Levi for always being there for me.

Empty thoughts lead to empty thoughts.

From Drop Box

I felt like I should write something since I'll be gone all weekend. I started off with an interesting concept but i ended this terribly. I didn't know what else to say because i didn't really feel like ranting about how poor people are and the stupid choices they make, plus i don't want to offend anyone. So this is kind of stupid, like i said it's interesting i just wish i could write something a little more on topic instead of everywhere.

Like vice-grips pulling at your soul

Locked in place never letting go

A building stands, oh so empty

No hallways, no rooms, yet its stories tall.

The graffiti on the sides reflect the way the community feels.

Like dark name tags a gruesome felt heartbreak, like a nightmare you can never awake.

People paint on these walls to express what they have left inside themselves.

Animals, to rebel, to come together.

Thoughts of “no thinking”, acts of uncertainty.

Groups of talentless people, amid one a true visionary.

They write, paint, and speak of unity.

To gather and collect, to rebel and reflect what society has created.

None other than these people can express feelings like this.

Watch your community and look at what they’ve done.

For better or for worst these people stay and listen to just one.

Under pressure, secretly the people who paint are the ones who’ll succeed.

Enlighten me of this fact of random violence, to prove who’s got the bigger ego?

To show whose got it all?

Mundane lives taught our generation of laziness and despair after Herbert Hoover created Welfare.

Everybody’s to blame not just the parents.

Who taught them?

As the state of your mind loses consciousness and drifts off into dreamland

I dream of nightmare upon nightmare of this sickly world.

The empty building I see just so happens to be in my dreams.

It was built by a man not so intelligent, with blueprints they couldn’t read.

The building was erected to inspire architectural advances.

To show how height is no longer an issue, for man can create anything.

Man can do anything he wants.

Like vice-grips pulling at your soul.

I think about life and the creation of our creations.

In which that hollow building, built out of the heart of an American to show mankind the limitless possibilities.

A symbol to society is now being written upon and trashed.

No respect, no decency, no kindness toward others.

Those visionaries I spoke of, the ones who paint.

Need to leave behind their lives and enter something that’s challenging.

Strike a nerve did I?

Stress

From Starred Photos

I wish I was gone. Taking out the garbage, washing the dishes, mowing the lawn, or vacuuming is just fine by me but when I get asked to do a job that I know I shouldn’t have to do alone that’s just stupid. I’ve been asked to take out the thorn bushes in the backyard of my house. They were taken out a few months ago by a tractor thanks to the landlord but since my return the entire yard hasn’t been mowed once. I was gone for exactly a month; I find it ironic that this would happen seeing as the person renting the house bought a riding “lawn mower”. Now that I’m back the thorn bushes are right back to where they were before, no maintenance has been done for almost two months now. The landlord had gotten on the person who rents the place to start fixing up the backyard. What do you think the person renting the place asked me to do? That’s right, fix everything. Now I live here out of choice because I love the community, the school I go to and my friends very much. But I don’t have to live here. I clean the house all the time, mow the lawn, do dishes occasionally and just help the place keep clean. But if it were up to the person renting, this fucking place would be a disaster. I mean really why the hell would you buy something and then not use it? That’s beyond me to figure out. If I spent $700 dollars or more on anything I’d damn well use the crap out of it, but no, that’s not how it goes. The renter hasn’t washed a dish since he was in college, now I’m not saying that this is a bad thing but when it comes to working he acts like his shits gold. It’s very true that I couldn’t do a lot without his money and it’s also very true that my mother happens to be in love with this man. The guy has done amazing things for me in general but as a role model, he’s absolutely terrible. He’s possibly the worst role model I’ve ever had. This is also ironic, the fact that he takes very good care of the things he owns, the house not being one of them. He doesn’t give a damn. So basically what I’ve experienced is that whenever the landlord bitches about anything, I go do it while he sits. I’ve watched people we’ve hired bring 3 or 4 guys into the yard just to do what I do. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

So here’s my dilemma, I want to move out and take care of stuff that is mine. If I had a house, I want that house to be beautiful just the way I bought it. I’m not going to rent a freaking house, it’s just dumb. Here’s the part that’s hard on me, since I try to do everything he tells me it’s actually making me a better person, all the while he sits in irresponsibleness and plays games. I mean really I do the work and he doesn’t learn a thing. The yard isn’t a one time job, it’s a responsibility and any landlord with a backbone would have kicked us out years ago. I wish my role as a nice young man wasn’t being abused by the product of their generation. I like to be a nice person and I like to help out, but when you don’t help me help you then one of us isn’t doing anything. Just saying for the work I do and what we’ve paid others to do and if I were to get paid. I’d have the money to buy 3 riding lawnmowers at least. From all of this experience I’ve gotten in being someone’s lackey I sure wish I could get rewarded. But what can I say; I’m a stupid ignorant teenager who doesn’t know anything. Wrong, I will become the most successful person in my family to date. I have dreams and high hopes for my future and I will never live like this ever again! Have you ever tried to take out thorn bushes that are from the fence five feet over to the back of your lawn? Have you ever tried to untangle an apple tree mixed with thorn bushes? No? It’s like trying to untie barbed wire that’s bout sixteen feet in the air tangled in itself and draped through and over a tree. Absolutely astonishing, I hope. No, I will not live like this ever in my entire life. I will live with respect and respect the things I live with.

Understanding yourself

From Starred Photos

Everyone’s days are numbered.

Not by god, not by chance, but by themselves.

We think of philosophical ideals of mans reason for reason.

We live life itself and still have no idea what it’s for.

Most choose something to follow, they choose something comfortable.

They choose a path that’s paved at the end.

They choose one that they make out themselves on the way.

Near the end though, they all believe in a single place to be.

Heaven.

Mans existence is unknown.

Though, everybody knows there is a different path for everyone.

What I’ve chosen, I had come up with on my own.

I believe I will not end up in heaven, if there ever were such a place.

I wish not to be around random people if or when I die.

I believe that people, each and everyone, is different.

Therefore I believe that each and every person may believe whatever they want when they pass on.

I do not wish to preach my ordeals nor do I want to complicate the way others think.

I only wish to show you what I believe.

I believe when we die that all of us end up in one place in a sense.

The earth.

Of course this is typical of an atheist to say something as blatant as that.

But I am not an atheist, I do not deny a higher power nor do I deny that a stronger being is out there.

What I do believe is important to me and for a very long time I have felt alone.

So alone that others in my position might have committed acts of suicide.

I won’t lie to you, I’ve thought of it, but life itself is too important to me.

The amount of knowledge accessible to the human mind is so astounding that I could not dare of doing something so stupid.

I believe everybody has a purpose in this life.

The purpose is so obvious that most of us do it every day without realizing the act.

To make yourself happy, that is the purpose of life.

That is what I believe, that is why I do not preach, nor do I condemn every religion I’ve heard of.

It does not make me happy to make others feel insulted.

I believe the soul duty to living on this earth is to live life well.

If you think about the ways of religion, they are very concrete.

Religion in some cases is needed.

It is needed to live a better life.

When you think of our society now, you have rules to follow and social security number that recognizes you.

Back then there were few rules to follow.

People could die every day and nobody would do anything to stop it.

Religion kept boundaries and gave mankind a simple set of morals.

These morals do something very simple to our lives.

They make us happy, so we may live in a better place.

Like Ayn Rand said, “It is the entire emotional realm of man’s dedication to a moral ideal”.

That is what I now believe to be religion.

Religion does not harm others, it is just a means to get people to move and live just lives.

Like I said in the beginning, our days are numbered not by god, nor by chance, but by ourselves.

She has also stated something else I find very intriguing, “It is the highest level of mans emotions that has to be redeemed from the muck of mysticism and redirected at its proper object: Man”.

Think about the way this is said, if you understand it then you can see what I see.

Objectivism is what I currently believe in.

I find it amazing that I had figured this out before I knew there was a name to it.

That is the power of the human mind.

We are all different, yet we can figure out what others are feeling and recognize that same feeling to feel it ourselves.

We are amazing creatures to think of compassion.

Thank you for listening to what I believe, I hope you take this and look at it in a different light to understand what I understand.

Lost in a forest full of stories

From Starred Photos

I got bored and wanted to write something today so i did. I wrote a little story set in an apocolyptic time. It's alright i guess, I could have done better but I really just felt like writing something sad. I really don't have anything sad about myself to write about so I decided to write this. Hope you like it, the next one I write will be in paragraph form like a normal story. The reason this one is like this, is because I thought I was going to write a poem but then something took over my brain and told me to write this. It all works out in the end :B

Lost in a forest full of luscious green trees and beautiful hills.

A woman stands before it, it breathes deep.

Its eyes as dark as her soul.

Thinking back on her past through seconds of tragedy.

What she’d done to survive this new world, what she’d overcome to get here.

Alone she had traveled into this place but split ways with others.

The others are no longer living.

The reason was to get her here.

To the forest where she could run and hide and tell others of this tragedy.

So she could escape into a safer world.

She had come a long way before arriving here.

She had made friends with people of the kindest hearts.

Only to end up killing them in the end.

The disease was unknown but they knew what it did.

The towns they passed through, the cities they tried to shelter in, everywhere had been hit.

Nobody knows what caused it but they all knew what was in store.

The woman was the key to the entire operation.

Living a once normal life she only went in for testing three times a year.

She was the only stable test subject they had.

She was perfect.

Until she realized what they had been doing.

They had created something no man had ever seen before.

They had created a monster made from man to strengthen the odds of war.

What they did not realize is that she was their only cure.

Everybody, the towns, the nearest cities, it spread like wild fire.

The whole earth seemed as if it were plagued with the infection.

People killing people for no reason other than to live.

The dearest people she met, the most kind she had ever known, she put down.

No matter how you were infected, you were infected.

She was the only cure.

She had traveled months to get here.

To find a salvation so she could help the rest of what was left of society.

Out of breath out of ammunition and with nothing left but her bare hands she stared deep into the eyes of the monster ahead of her.

If she died now, humanity would forever be extinct.

She had only herself.

Tears ran down her cheeks as stared into the monsters eyes.

She flashed back to every laughing moment she ever had as a child and even the ones she had with some of the refugees.

They’re all gone now, she had nothing left to live for.

She had been stopped short in her journey to save humanity by a creature with no left arm.

He had an awesome grip as he ripped her into a tree nearest to them.

A gasping noise, her eyes widened as she fell to the floor.

The end so near she could see death itself.

The last thing she remembers is the dark shaded eyes of the monster as it pierced her heart with its fist.

With one final breath she said goodbye to the world.

Wishing she had had the strength to fight back she died in tears.

The monster had no idea of who she was, all he knew was his instincts said kill and his body followed.

The monster kept her heart as a trophy; he held it in his hand where ever he went.

He guarded that forest for whatever reason and did so briskly.

Everyone who had ever entered died.

He left her body there as a warning but time soon faded away her decaying bones.

Millennia passed, the one armed man was now a demon that surpassed all other life like his self.

Conscious now, he looks back on everything he did, still carrying that womans heart.

Thinking of reason

From Starred Photos

To give meaning to.

To live life for.

To help and love, with love that began it.

To see things nobody has ever seen.

To picture it in a thousand ways.

To describe it with thousands of words.

To live it, is to breathe it.

To think it, grants intelligence.

To become it, success will follow.

For dreams come true to those who value their futures and those who value others as well as themselves. Thinking it is only the first step into your own journey but to pursue it, means to have the courage to take the last. Apply this to love, life, your future and beyond.

By Casey Jarrell.

between my self and I

From Starred Photos

Between my thoughts and me

And this crazed amount of insanity

I lose my mind in nothingness

Through pain and through suffering

I’ve been cut deep

Through my veins and this scared face I weep

Like a rocket my mind soars through the sky

Never hitting its objective always passing right by

But somehow it manages to stop and explode

With shrapnel flying everywhere I begin to think silently

For every time I sit alone, my brain weeps violently

Through dark shadows and through the blinds, the light shines

But it’s never enough because the dark shadows are mine

The shadows take over as the rocket explodes

Acting like shrapnel it cuts deep in every direction

Giving my brain the sickest of infections

I weep, I cry, I tear my eyes out from the inside

Disease spreads through me I can’t stop it

It travels through my veins and grabs on to these reigns and it stays there

Like a mental patient that sees’s only people he can see

Those people taunt him

It’s not his fault he’s like me, but scientists want him

They study his reaction as he’s being treated like dirt from both worlds

He gets one meal and prays every day

He wishes he was out of there and so do his thoughts

Suicide runs rampant something the scientists caught

So they administered a drug so he can never live again

Hooked up like a vegetable he’s the perfect specimen

But what these scientists don’t get is that perfection brings despair

For they are the ones locked in and watching what’s out there

With this drug they tell the mans mind how to think and how to act

They act as if they know what he’s thinking as he sits there twitching and blinking

But what they knew the whole time, is how to make the voices stop

Like watching a puzzle fix itself they put their hands out

They fixed this man with concoctions of medication while in rehabilitation,

Weeks later after being freed and living his own life again

He broke down and couldn’t handle it and from here he became their perfect specimen

They studied and watched how he acted

They fixed others problems through his mind

All the while this man had become blind

From the fallout of a bomb that hits my cerebral cortex

To the shrapnel that hits my mind

I’ve started to think again on how this relates to me

A dark sad soul walks this earth, with happiness and despair

Every step he takes he breathes a breath of fresh air

The soul begins to lighten up

But only because time passes

I’ve promised myself I’ll never give up

Because I’ve got something to prove to the masses

That one man can’t save the world

And only together we can survive

Like reading a children’s book we learn something simple

Through my dark thoughts every time I sit still

To the end of these poems

I feel amazed at how much I can create

Amazed at how much I’ve learned

And between my thoughts and me

Is a field of love and compassion for the people closest to me

I see my future, I reflect on my passed

I am a product of my generation

And thanks to American society

I believe in nothingness

To this day I feel greatly depressed without reason

Question after question, no answer

Different moods, different days

Different acts, different plays

We each have a roll and were all great actors

But when life’s stops and your off the stage

Remember, that my mind explodes into nothing you could ever imagine