so out of it

Im so out of it.
I envy you.
The heart, the passion.
The light, your laugh.

The way you smile.

What I thought I needed I have.
What I know now, I laugh.

The time gone, the money spent.
How many wrongs came and went.

Often I tried but never won.
Often you cried, always undone.

The fear,the facts.
The here and now.

How I've gotten this far I wonder how.

Think back then.
Think back when.

20 years ago.
one more year to go.

Does it matter?
no limitations.
its all there.

The memories of the old brought back like the new.
From a simple memory reminding you.
I envy you.

the young.

There is still so much unknown.

Im so out of it.

Stay as i remember you

As I live farther and farther away time seems to press on without a single worry. As friends start to leave me behind I begin to wonder. The time I spend working keeps my mind busy. At the end of the day all you can really think about is how you've gotten where you're at. You think a about every what if situation possible. Thinking use to be much worse. Back when liberty wasn't a thought, when literally thinking too many what if scenarios drove you bored with your own conscious.  Life now is just as simple as it was then, there's just less to do and more to fuck it up. I can talk about the new corps vs the old but I only know the present. I know that I'm proud to be here but extremely unsatisfied with almost everyone I've met. The epitome of absolute laziness in some, carelessness in others. Its selfish thoughts that make your days long and your thoughts farther from your own. But that doesn't stop them, they'll always be here. They're a community you must rise above. You almost need them to even try. Hard decisions fall daily, but the time we can relax has been great. I miss my friends and family, just the way I left them. I feel as I've walked into some time machine. As if I step out for a minute and never came back. Life gets harder as it goes on. Stay with me people, I need you.

peace and quiet

The closest of you.
shadows.
light hits concrete.
For the most of you.
Days.
minutes turn to friendships as we meet.
Thoughts turn into action as our hands clasp with passion.
Nights.
Empty hearts fill for just a moment.
Gone again, as the day wakes the waves.
Crystal clear.
Full are the dreams that wake me into existence.
Empty is the life we push forward.
thoughts.
Until we meet.
The life that goes on.
Forever here.
Wishing, wanting, hoping.

waiting..