I Hurt Myself Yesterday

Away, too busy to feel.
The facade I carry begins to peel.
At home, so safe that nothing can hurt me.
Out there, afraid to expend too much energy.

This part of me builds up.
The anticipation welling inside me.
Or is it anxiety?

I act sad. I just need a little compassion.
Do I go do the things I don't want to do?
Do I fight myself, is this the right action?

It's in the air, the weight of it all.
The lights dim, there you go and here I fall.

All the help and notes I have, thrown out the window with anger.
I just need a little compassion.
I close my eyes. I don't want to see red, I don't want to see danger.

But here it is, unable to cope.
As my indecision tears me apart.
All I can do is hope.

It's never enough, I feel like I have to decide.
I'm done being tough, I just want to lie here and cry.

Being tough is as easy as seeing black and white.
Seeing true color scares me.
I'm just so afraid to fight.

That's why, I hurt myself last night.